Monday, February 15, 2010

The seas have calmed.

So it's been a couple of weeks of finding our center so this, too, could pass. I'm disgusted by the local media; no one wanted to publish the story about a con man working within the local community. Well, when something happens that's bad enough TO get the attention of the local media then we'll be right there, front and center, to let the community members know that it was the media that decided not to warn them of the sicko that was preying on folks in our community. We contacted every newspaper and news station within a 75 mile radius; no one cared. "Freedom of speech" my a*s!!!

Back to the search. No one's donated anything to our site...which surprises me....Casey Anthony gets donations to her prison commissary account every week AND SHE KILLED HER DAUGHTER!!! I guess that I, as a searching first mom, am not worthy enough because I haven't done anything illegal or because I'm not asking for money to buy bigger breasts...hmmmm. Society makes you wonder sometimes, doesn't it??

So there are a couple of new people helping me with my search now.....we've even gotten some information offered to us by a spiritual medium!! My kids are starting to heal and it's getting easier to bring up the subject of searching again.

One of the things that bothers me the most about all of this is that we, as first moms, are judged by those that don't even know who we are. We are hated by children that have never even known us because of lies told to them by 'others.' Why are we looked at, by the obvious majority, as 'monsters' that our children had to be 'rescued' from? Weren't we the ones that chose to carry these children to term without regard to what it would do to our psyches, bodies, reputations or social lives rather than to end the pregnancy??? Does that really sound like something a 'monster' would do? Why don't many people stop to wonder what it's done to us, as women, as human beings, to have these children taken away from us with no means of future contact? Do 'they' really believe that we 'forget' about these kids after they're taken away from us?

Now I know that there are women on the opposite end of the spectrum; those whom want to avoid any contact with their children. I can't even BEGIN to understand that state of mind. How unhealthy THAT must be. How badly I wish my son would come knocking on my door or call my phone.....only to hear that those children that have searched and found have been shut down by the very woman that gave them life. There's no way I'll ever understand that.

So we're off and searching again. Still shamefully begging for donations to I won't stop searching until we find him. As long as there's breath in my body. Whomever you are...wherever you beautiful, wonderful son....I love you...I have since the day I realized you were growing inside me.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Down to the wire!!

So, tomorrow's the day....the reporter emailed confirmation that our story will be hitting the Worcester, Mass. Telegraph Gazette tomorrow! Once he emails us the link, I'll be contacting ALL local media..from Tampa to Key West, Orlando and Miami..anyone that'll hear us. I'm nervous, scared and exhilarated all at the same time. Nervous because I don't know what this sociopath is going to do once he gets wind that I'm the one that caught on to him (Not his "sis"!!!), scared because I'm putting my family 'out there' for another part of the US (to be judged) and exhilarated because I know that we're doing everything within our power to get this man's face plastered all over the media so that he'll be soooo recognizable that he won't be able to hurt anyone ever again!

Today, we sent an email to Governor Charlie Crist. We would like someone to answer as to why this man can pretend to be a 3-star brigadier general (with a fake military ID AND a phony press release announcing his promotion as such), which violates the "Stolen Valor Act of 2005" and no one really cares. Report after report after report to the FBI...nothing. Con after con after con...nothing. So we'll do our part. Let's see if we can make enough noise to finally be heard!!!

The search for my son has grown some more wings.....I have new angels.....and they are just that...angels. My cousin, Faith, has been a wonderful, new addition to this ongoing search. We are all rallying together and working as a team....talking, comparing notes...even though all of my notes have been lost to the computer monster....and he won't give them back! I had, however, emailed some of my search info to Faith...and she was kind enough to keep I have some of that info back. My site,, should hit the main stream tomorrow...everyone please, PLEASE pray for site prosperity. Pray that donations will come so that we can allow Kinsolving to find my son....that all of the negativity that's hit my family (even from 'friendly fire') can be put behind us and we can begin the next chapter of our lives.

We're very excited at the prospect of this man getting caught. I'll be sure to post a link to the new newspaper article as soon as I can to the blog.

I want to thank all of you for taking the time to read my blog.....prayers are gratuitously accepted...especially at this moment in time. Good night all....see you tomorrow!!! YIKES!

Monday, February 1, 2010

The latest in...well, the drama that 'is'...

Since all of this stuff started last Tuesday, I have been verbally attacked by a few people based upon my decision to go 'public' with my story and to set up the donation web site...I've been called lazy, stupid and have been belittled for wanting to pay a 'blood sucker' that will (accusingly) use 'illegal' measures to help find my son. Let me tell anyone that may be interested here that absolutely NO ONE was crying foul when my son was taken from me and adopted ILLEGALLY. No one stood in the court room and called the adoptive parents, the doctor or the attorney 'blood suckers'...oh, that's right, they were baby-buyers. Furthermore, accusing a group of doing something illegal when you have no direct knowledge and/or proof of this accusation, to me, says that perhaps you're jealous of the work that they're capable of performing that you are not. And these are the people that come out of the proverbial woodwork when you join some of these sites to search. Now, don't get me wrong..there are wonderful people out there whom will jump right in and help...but beware of the control-freak type; they're the ones that are all sweet until you decide on a different direction...then the sweet demeanor disappears and the claws and teeth come out! Out goes the encouraging banter and in with the discouraging, accusatory, hateful banter. And I'm the one that's angry?!?!?!?!

It has been almost 9 years since my son turned 18 and I began this search....NINE YEARS!!! The ONLY information that I had were the facts that I could remember. I ordered the hospital records to see if I could begin there...I registered with state groups, country-wide groups...any place that would let me record my information and my desire to find my son and/or be found by him. I've done 'the work'......

All these people that call themselves 'angels' sure don't act like angels when you go against what THEY think you should do. I'm not here to be judged; I had enough of that in my childhood. Now I'm getting judged for taking a route other than what 'they' think I should? I'm here to find my son. That's it....TO FIND MY SON. Not to be insulted and belittled by ANYONE; especially those that pretend to be something that they are not.

Don't misinterpret what I'm saying here...there are many, many fellow adoptees and birth parents that I have met on this journey that I am proud to say are now friends...and I really, REALLY appreciate them and their input; however, I am an adult and will make my own decisions based upon what's best for both me and my family....not because someone thinks that I 'should.' Louise Hay said it best when she said that she would like the word 'should' removed from our vocabulary as it's used to assert guilt on its receiver.

The past seven days have been hell on me, my family and our close friends. I am just dumbfounded at those that have lashed out at me; both for wanting to hire Kinsolving to find my son and for setting up the donation site and telling my story!! Condemning me for not wanting to send out 2,983 letters to a random list of men born on my son's birth day (that was last updated in 2004) and then wait for, what you HOPE to be an honest answer? Really!?!?!? Being fed all this negative energy from those that are supposed to be supportive and positive?!?! To tell me that I 'should' be very careful so as to not come off as an 'angry' first mom?? Are you kidding me? I've had to hide my feelings FOR 27 YEARS!!! Damn right I'm angry!!! It's my right as a human being to be angry. If you don't agree with that, it's your prerogative; however, keep it to yourself. Look into the mirror and attack the person you're REALLY angry at. Stop projecting your anger towards me.

And you (you know who you are) call yourselves 'angels'.

Now that I've completed my venting on this issue here's the latest on the con man...the FBI, as you have probably read in my earlier blog post, has no interest in going after this man; however, my former boss is looking into some criminal charges against him. I, myself, have removed myself and my family from all of this continuing drama. The reporter will publish his article on what this man has done to me and my family in hopes that his face will be plastered all over the media both here and in Massachusetts. My goal in all this is, since the FBI won't touch him, that we get his face 'out there' so that anyone he comes into contact with in the future will know his face...and his name. Once the article is published I will post a link to my blog and to my Facebook profile for all to see...the more people that see his face and know his name, the better. I would not want this man's Karma for all the money in the world!!! I'll keep you all posted!

Thanks for taking the time to read my blog! (((HUGS)))

REPOST: Posted and removed Jan. 26, 2010

So here's my original blog that had been removed as per FBI request:

I can't believe I'm having to write this but here goes....I found out today that it was all a hoax. The man that claimed to have 'found' my son through "Homeland Security" is a con man. Has been for years and years according to reports from Massachusetts. This man went through this entire, elaborate scheme JUST to scam me and my family! He claimed to have 'inside connections' to Homeland Security and that's whom he claimed he was utilizing to get into the sealed adoption records. Wow! (I thought) after years of hitting dead ends we've finally found someone that could get us his name!!! Not only did he supply this set of 'Secure Documents" but also his name, his address, the types of vehicles he owned, his adoptive parents' names and that he worked for US Customs and Border Patrol in the Port of Los Angeles and had a level 2 security clearance and that the only criminal record he had was a DUI 4 months ago....BUT I couldn't try to contact him for several months because they'd KNOW that his "record" had been pulled by Homeland Security and, if I came 'up on the radar' within that time period that I could be arrested and held until I revealed my source; thus, causing several 'high security people' serious trouble. I bought it, ladies and gentlemen. Hook, line and sinker. EVERY BIT OF IT LIES!! How did we find out??

Along comes my wonderful search angel, Carol. She couldn't WAIT to get his contact info so that I could make contact with him; telling me that the line I was getting from 'him' was bogus and made no sense. After a few days of waiting for a picture from his "jacket" that was promised to me LAST week, I began to wonder. Last night, with Carol's encouragement and support, I called the apartment complex that he supposedly lived in; the woman in the renter's office had been there for 5 years and handled all leases and payments and said that no one by that name lived there, nor had anyone with that name lived there for, at least, the past five years. RED FLAG....DUH.

Today; called a couple of knowledgeable folks out there and got a contact number for the US Customs and Border Patrol office that handles the Port of Los Angeles ( and a WHOLE bunch of other ports of entry, too)....I spoke to a lovely lady whom was kind enough to check the data base for my sons 'name' and date of birth....she was sorry to tell me that no one with that name and date of birth was employed by US Customs and Border Patrol. RED FLAG AGAIN!! But, here' s trusting, desperate me...still wanting to believe the good in everyone....called a private detective that I had just met to explain to her what this man had given me, where the information reportedly came from, the explanations he had given me about not being able to contact my son, etc. She, not liking what she heard, offered to do a background search for me...and low and behold! All the info is right there, in google-land!! I, at this moment, and as of about 11:15 am EST, am covered in hives, have a horrible pounding headache, an upset stomach and other physical ailments that I don't like to have, let alone make you read about. Both of my children have tummy aches tonight, as well. I had no choice but to tell them that it was all a lie.

We have learned, just this afternoon, that this man has an EXTENSIVE con man history....starting up near Worcester, Mass and carrying on through FL. Not only conning people out of their money but also pretending to be a 3 star General from the Air Force, a former fighter pilot (he has a civilian pilot's license) to being retired from Blackwater and owning a castle in England that he inherited from a former multi-million dollar employer. Lying about things as simple as how his first wife died; telling us all that she had been involved in a car accident, treated at a local hospital and released, then falling down dead suddenly from an undetected brain bleed. Real story: she died of 'sudden respiratory failure of unknown cause'...are you thinking what I'm thinking??

Now I'm angry...we're all angry...but, worst of all, my 2 daughters are DEVASTATED. They thought that, after almost 9 years of searching, that we had finally found their brother. I think they were as excited as I was!!! Their hearts are broken. My heart is broken. Now comes the question WHY??????? He didn't (or at least hadn't up till now) ask me for any money. This was being done as a 'personal favor for his sis' (that's what he called me) no money needed. WHY??? What kind of MONSTER prays on a desperate birth mom and her family? What kind of MONSTER pretends to have 'inside connections' to sealed records KNOWING DAMN WELL THAT HE DID NOT!!!!????!!!!! Why would someone DO this to another human being??? If I could contain my anger, heart break and disgust near him I'd be almost curious to see how he was going to con his way out of this one! Our guess: he had told me just this past Monday that he had, once again, contacted his connection in Homeland Security to request my son's cell phone number and 'jacket' picture and that he, himself, was going to contact my son and fake an interview for a Blackwater job...he would then ask him a battery of personal questions that included whether my son had ever considered finding his birth mother. I FLIPPED out on him...telling him that he couldn't do that; he has NO KNOWLEDGE of either side of the adoption trauma and that, without knowledge, he could ruin ANY chance I had at meeting my son. This man then told me that he was going to do it with or without my blessing. So, the hunch is that he would have come to me and said that my son had no interest in me so as not to blow his con artist cover but still, in his eyes, look like the hero by being able to get information that no one else could get.

For those of you that know me personally, you know what an error it was for this man to mess with my family; especially the hearts, spirits and souls of my daughters. There are already things set in motion to see how this man's karma can come back at him 1,000 fold through legal and public entities; anyone that knows me knows just how resourceful I can be. But now there's been a multitude of search angels, 2 different private investigators and a multitude of supporters that I have met over the years of searching yet we still are NO closer to finding my son.

So what I'm doing is setting up a web site in order to accept monetary donations until I've reached my goal of $3,500. so that I can hire Kinsolving to find my son for me. They are the ONLY organization out there known to find the 'unfindable'. I have sent them an inquiry and they say that they can help me so I've gotta do it. But there's NO WAY we can afford their would take me another couple of years to save up that much money in this economy. I can't wait that long. My site is It will be up and running within the next 24-48 hours. Donations will be accepted by paypal at as well. If you know anyone that would help, PLEASE send them to either heart can't take any more disappointment. Thank you all for reading my blog.

Now, there have been some changes since this blog originally hit the net.....the FBI decided NOT to pursue charges against this man; although he continues to pretend to be a 3-star general and carries a fake military ID (which is a blatant violation of the Stolen Valor Act of 2005) because he's deemed a 'white collar' criminal. After direct contact with various arms of law enforcement; from the FBI down to local police officers, it's acceptable to say that some people CAN get away with anything! There are 2 confirmed warrants for this man in Massachusetts; however, the state will not extradite him from Florida.